Saturday, October 11, 2014

Phone Wars

With great technology comes enormous douchebags.  This post is going to be short and sweet, because the message is pretty simple:  If you participate in this “my phone is better than your phone” bullshit, you are a douchebag. 

This whole brand fanboy nonsense has got to stop.  Not only is it annoying as fuck, it’s also childish and ignorant.  Nobody should care what kind of phone anyone else has. If you’re happy with your phone, just be happy with it and shut up.  If you’re not happy with it, go try something else, but still shut the fuck up. 

The different social media outlets always have a way of bringing the douchiest people front and center in the spotlight.  If you want to find the iPhone fanboys, just head over to Facebook.  “My iPhone is so much better than your Droid.  You didn’t get an iPhone???  You really messed up by getting that Droid…iPhone is sooooo much better!!”  Hey, come over here for a minute, I have something to tell you:  GO FUCK YOURSELF.

If you want to see the Android fanboys, just head over to Google+.  G+ is the mecca of droid worshippers.  These people are even slightly more annoying because they are such hypocrites.  They will criticize the iPhone worshippers for being “fanboys”, all the while doing the exact same thing by being Android worshipping “fanboys”.  “Oh you got an iPhone?  Hahaha…you should have got a Droid!  The iPhone just copies other phones anyways.  My Droid can do so much more stuff than your iPhone can do!”   Hey, come over here for a minute, I have something to tell you too:  GO FUCK YOURSELF.

As for Twitter, I see a 50/50 mix of the two douchebag groups previously mentioned.  Look, it doesn’t matter what kind of phone you get, or any other piece of technology, for that matter.  As long as it suits you and you’re happy with it, that’s all that should matter.  Stop trying to make everyone else feel shitty about their purchase and turning everything into a dick measuring contest.  And for the record, I have had both iPhone and Android phones.  I like both of them.  I’ve found pros and cons with both of them.  Get whatever fits your needs, lifestyle, and personal preferences and just leave everyone else alone about theirs.  There’s just something about technology that makes grown fucking adults act like immature little dicks.  It’s time to stop.



P.S….Put down your phone and pay attention to the goddamn road, fuckstick.