Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Making Bad Into Worse

Ferguson.  What a clusterfuck.  As always, my blog posts are rants based mostly on the idiocy that I’m bombarded with on social media.  This rant is no different.

So we all know what is going on in Ferguson, Missouri right now, therefor I won’t waste my time typing the backstory. I should also note that this post will not be about picking sides in this mess, either.  I have negative opinions about both people involved in the incident.  This post is about how everyone is handling it…which, in true American form, is immature, null and void of common sense, and mostly attention driven.

Once more, we have a story that unequivocally polarizes our nation.  I just wish people understood that it’s okay to be mad about something, as long as you handle that anger properly.  Unfortunately, many of you don’t handle it properly and I have to end up writing about your dumb asses.  In this case, I’m talking about the “protesters”.  I put that word in quotations because, in my opinion, there are only a small percentage of these mobs that are actually protesting for a cause.  The greater percentage, on the other hand, can be split into two groups:

1.     People who are already violent with criminal tendencies, who feel like they’ve just been given an all-access pass to get buck wild and do whatever they fuck they want (you see this with all of the assault, looting, theft, arson, etc), and
2.   People who just want their 15 minutes of fame.  I’ll get to them in greater detail shortly.

The people in both groups mentioned above are douchebags.  I, for one, am sick and tired of people condoning their actions.  I’m talking about people on the far left, of course.  I should mention that I am a progressive liberal, too…and these far left liberals are getting on my fucking nerves.  It doesn’t matter whether you are liberal or conservative in your views, but when you venture so far to one side that you lose sight of common sense or decency, you become part of the problem, not the solution.  I fully understand that a great injustice has been done, but violence and criminal acts are NOT the answer.  It helps nothing.

Now let’s get back to group number two that I talked about earlier.  They are the inspiration for this post.  The social media generation of today knows that you can become famous, or at the very least, popular at the mere click of a mouse.  This generation also has the attention span of a hamster, and they will completely forget about a fad just as quickly as they jumped on one.  I witnessed this during the infamous “Ice Bucket Challenge”.  If you haven’t seen my thoughts on that topic, you can see it here: Yes, We're Fully Aware  Most of those people were pretending to be kind and charitable, but let’s face it, they were jumping on a bandwagon for popularity and “likes” on social media.  These are the same people that are pretending to be “protesters”, not only in Ferguson, but now in cities all over the country.  People are actually forming a human blockade across main highways and interstates, bringing all traffic to a halt.  When I read about this and watched the videos, I was floored.  I couldn’t believe my eyes. The scene in San Diego is an example:

Once again, that’s in fucking San Diego.  What possible good is this doing?  How is this helping any situation?  All these people are doing is taking a bad situation, and making it exponentially worse.  That’s it.  And for what?  Well, they knew that by doing this, the media would flock to them like flies to shit. They got to be on tv.  They got their pictures taken…a lot.  They were plastered all over social media.  They got to fill that popularity void that was left when the Ice Bucket Challenge became irrelevant.  They now get to tell everyone on their friends list that they are bravely and diligently fighting for a cause. They accomplished absolutely nothing towards righting a wrong in the Ferguson case. Nothing. Zero. Zilch.  But hey…they sure are popular.  Now take a look at that video again.  Look at all of the people who were caught in the wake of this selfish act of stupidity.  Think about all of those people stuck in that massive traffic jam.  There are people that will lose pay because they were unable to make it to work….maybe even fired for missing work.  That is people’s fucking livelihoods that you are toying with.  There are people that needed to get to a doctor appointment that was scheduled 6 months ago.  There are countless problems that could have stemmed from that one single act.  That same act is going on all over the country. 
These people are blindly swinging from bandwagon to bandwagon, like the little social media orangutans that this generation has become.  And in this case, their ridiculous popularity stunts are simply making bad into worse.

Now, I know what some of you are thinking: “But Marcus…that’s the whole point of protests.  They’re supposed to get all of that attention to get the message across!”.  Well, I understand that, but blocking main traffic arteries is NOT it.  Stand on a street corner or sidewalk and hold your goddamn signs.  They will still get seen.  Go stand in front of a tv station if you want to be on tv.  Just get out of the fucking road.  The point of protests is to make a problem get rectified, not to generate many more problems caused by your thoughtless actions. But again, I firmly believe that these people are doing it for the wrong reasons...just like the Ice Bucket Challenge.  I bet most of these douchebags couldn’t even point out Missouri on a fucking map, much less Ferguson.  The social media generation: taking one single issue and treating it like the end-all be-all of existence, at least until they see something shiny and drop it like a cat that’s bored with the dead mouse.

You want to protest? Fine.  Protest.  Just stop doing it at the expense of those around you.  People have lives to lead.  Have some fucking respect. Cheers.

P.S.  Since I brought up the Ice Bucket Challenge in this post, it made me think of a question:  Since that fad has passed, how often do you see people on your social media feeds express their “concern” for ALS patients?  Food for thought.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Phone Wars

With great technology comes enormous douchebags.  This post is going to be short and sweet, because the message is pretty simple:  If you participate in this “my phone is better than your phone” bullshit, you are a douchebag. 

This whole brand fanboy nonsense has got to stop.  Not only is it annoying as fuck, it’s also childish and ignorant.  Nobody should care what kind of phone anyone else has. If you’re happy with your phone, just be happy with it and shut up.  If you’re not happy with it, go try something else, but still shut the fuck up. 

The different social media outlets always have a way of bringing the douchiest people front and center in the spotlight.  If you want to find the iPhone fanboys, just head over to Facebook.  “My iPhone is so much better than your Droid.  You didn’t get an iPhone???  You really messed up by getting that Droid…iPhone is sooooo much better!!”  Hey, come over here for a minute, I have something to tell you:  GO FUCK YOURSELF.

If you want to see the Android fanboys, just head over to Google+.  G+ is the mecca of droid worshippers.  These people are even slightly more annoying because they are such hypocrites.  They will criticize the iPhone worshippers for being “fanboys”, all the while doing the exact same thing by being Android worshipping “fanboys”.  “Oh you got an iPhone?  Hahaha…you should have got a Droid!  The iPhone just copies other phones anyways.  My Droid can do so much more stuff than your iPhone can do!”   Hey, come over here for a minute, I have something to tell you too:  GO FUCK YOURSELF.

As for Twitter, I see a 50/50 mix of the two douchebag groups previously mentioned.  Look, it doesn’t matter what kind of phone you get, or any other piece of technology, for that matter.  As long as it suits you and you’re happy with it, that’s all that should matter.  Stop trying to make everyone else feel shitty about their purchase and turning everything into a dick measuring contest.  And for the record, I have had both iPhone and Android phones.  I like both of them.  I’ve found pros and cons with both of them.  Get whatever fits your needs, lifestyle, and personal preferences and just leave everyone else alone about theirs.  There’s just something about technology that makes grown fucking adults act like immature little dicks.  It’s time to stop.

P.S….Put down your phone and pay attention to the goddamn road, fuckstick.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Yes, We're Fully Aware

Well hello again, lovely sheeple.  I’m not sure how you managed to graze your way over here, but welcome.  It’s been over a year and a half since my last blog post.  My blog gets about as much traffic as the moon, so I said “fuck it” and haven’t written anything on here because, well, why bother?  But lately something has been getting under my skin enough to dust off the old blog and get back to offending some of you delicate flowers once again.  Today’s topic: the ever popular ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.

If you’re on any social media, you have no doubt seen video after video of people doing something called the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.  This is where people pour ice cold water over themselves, and then list a few people who should do the same.  The supposed purpose of this act of stupidity is to “raise awareness” for ALS (AKA Lou Gehrig’s Disease), which is a neurodegenerative disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and the spinal cord.  This Ice Bucket Challenge has also been for other diseases or afflictions, but ALS seems to be the most popular one lately.

Now that we know what it is, let’s go ahead and find out why it’s fucking stupid.  I’ve always had a problem with “awareness” campaigns.  I’ve written about this before.  This post could actually be a part two, or continuation of this one that I wrote back in June of 2011:

Unless you’ve lived in a cave your whole life, I’d say it’s safe to say that we’re all “aware” of all these terrible diseases and afflictions.  ALS, cancer, AIDS, diabetes, lupus, autism, Alzheimer’s disease, etc…these things aren’t brand new in 2014.  They’ve been around for a very long time.  Trust me, we’re aware.

Now let’s get back to this ice water thing.  The rules of this challenge are pretty simple.   Players have 24 hours to either pour a bucket of ice cold water over their head on camera or contribute money to the charity of their choice. After they’ve made their decision, they appoint three more people to do the same.  Please let me point this out again:  People are doing this to AVOID donating to a charity.  If you are reading this right now, and you have participated in this Ice Bucket Challenge, you are essentially telling the whole world, “I would rather pour frigid ice water all over my body than to give a single cent to charity.”  But hey, your video got a bunch of likes on Facebook, so it’s all good, right?  You, sir or ma’am, are a shit bag.  Let’s face it, you didn’t do this to raise awareness or be charitable, you’re just another asshole with a camera phone who’s seeking attention on social media.  Congratulations.

Now, granted, this viral challenge has proven to bring in money.  The ALS Association told Fox Boston that it has raised $1.35 million in the past two weeks. It raised just $22,000 in the same period last year.  That’s fantastic, of course….especially for the people who suffer from this disease.  But let’s get back to the root of this viral ice water campaign, which is to raise awareness.  When you watch all of these videos of people doing this, how many of them actually describe to the viewers what ALS is?  What kind of toll does ALS have on the human body?  How many people are currently diagnosed with this illness?  What are the early warning signs?  Nobody bothers to mention any of this.  So much for awareness, eh?  Even though this viral campaign has brought an increase in donations (albeit mostly from celebrities), most of you average joes out there are merely making these videos to showcase your willingness to be fun and silly on camera in exchange for likes on Facebook. Some of you do-gooders might have even given five or ten bucks after pouring ice water on yourself, but then it begs the question: Why didn’t you just donate that to begin with?  Why the charade?  Being charitable isn’t really your concern.  Being popular on social media is, though.  “How many likes will this get on Facebook?  How many favorites will this get on Twitter?  Everyone’s attention will be on ME!!!”  If your sole reason for donating to anything is for a viral social media popularity campaign (a donation that you otherwise wouldn’t have made), then you are not charitable.  You’re just a douchebag, so get off of your soapbox.

For the most part, I would compare this ice water nonsense to prayer.  It makes you feel good about yourself for doing something, without ever actually doing something.  For example, it’s winter time and you see a homeless person, who is cold, sitting on a street corner.  You are now “aware” of him.  You can pray for him, feel sorry for him, and feel compassion for him.  Guess what…none of those things are going to keep him warm.  A blanket and hot meal will, though.  This is action versus awareness.  If you really want to make a difference and help, take some real action.  Just simply donate directly to the charity or research foundation of your choice.  No gimmicks, no publicity stunts, no whoring yourself out for Facebook likes.  Do it because you genuinely care about helping people.  Most people will donate to causes that they are personally affected by.  For me, I regularly donate to fund cancer and diabetes research.  I wish I could afford to donate to every charity, but I’m a middle-class American, which equates to me being poor as fuck.

In closing, just know that your awareness doesn’t do anything for anybody.  Action helps people.  Donating your time or money helps people.  Dumping ice water on yourself to avoid these things just makes you an asshole.  Cheers.