Tuesday, June 21, 2011

How Aware Are You?

I get so annoyed when I see all of these "awareness" ribbons on so many vehicles and clothes. So let me get this straight: If I wear a pink ribbon, a pink shirt, or a pink tie, then breast cancer will be one step closer to being cured? The answer is no...and you're stupid for thinking it does. Believe me, my heart goes out to anyone who has suffered through such a terrible illness, but me wearing a pink shirt isn't going to do shit as far as curing cancer goes. The only thing I will accomplish by wearing a pink shirt is looking like a homo. And let's go ahead a clear this up: Guys, it's not ok to wear pink. If you do, you will look like a guy that has an abundance of penis in or around his mouth.

Let's start by looking at the many different awareness ribbons (and most colors are supposed to raise awareness for multiple things).
White ribbon: Women's Violence, or Multiple Hereditary Extoses
Yellow ribbon: Support Our Troops, or Suicide Prevention
Puzzle ribbon: Autism Awareness
Blue Ribbon: Colon cancer, Stevens-Johnson Syndrome, Human Trafficking Awareness, Tuberous Sclerosis Awareness, Addiction Recovery Awareness
Light Blue ribbon: Child Abuse Awareness
Purple ribbon: Lupus, Domestic Violence, Alzheimer's, Cystic Fibrosis
Lavender ribbon: Epilepsy Awareness
Orange ribbon: Leukemia, Multiple Sclerosis
Red ribbon: AIDS

I could go on and on and on here, but I think you get the point. Go online and take a look at the full list of ribbons, and the things they represent. Now just imagine how many ribbons have been sold for people to wear and put on their vehicles. And as a result, guess how many of these things have been cured....you guessed it, not a goddamn one. I think I'm going to start the trend of wearing a brown ribbon, for Bullshit Awareness.

Let's go back and take a look at breast cancer again, since it seems to be one of the most popularly marketed afflictions. On breast cancer awareness day (or week), the media encourages you to wear a pink ribbon, a pink tie, or a pink shirt that proclaims "I Support Breast Cancer Awareness". Have you ever really thought about where your money is going when you buy these things? Sure, maybe a small portion of that is going to the American Cancer Society, but not as much as you think. Let's say I paid $15 for a breast cancer awareness shirt. Sure, maybe about $0.35 of that is going to the cause, but the company that made the shirt just got $14.65. There are many companies out there whose sole purpose is making awareness ribbons. How do you think those companies stay in business? The American media has taken terrible things like cancer, autism, and child abuse and marketed them in just the right way to turn a profit...and nobody seems to have caught on yet. I swear, Americans would buy a human turd if you put an awareness ribbon on it.

Look, I'm not telling everyone to turn your back on all of these terrible things that require due attention. All I'm saying is that you're wasting your money on stupid marketing campaigns that are making other people rich. If you want to help support cancer research, that is fantastic...I support that too. But please don't waste your money buying ribbons and shirts. Instead, take that money that you would have spent on that crap, and donate it directly to the American Cancer Society. Your dollar will go a lot further that way.

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