Tuesday, June 7, 2011

"I'm a Complete Idiot...Please Tell Me What To Do Next"

Why is it that everyone in America these days needs to be told common sense things in order to get through their day-to-day lives. Why do you need confirmation from someone else when you already know the solution to your problem? For instance, when I see these complete morons who think Dr. Phil is so great and knowledgeable, when all he does is tell people basic common sense things. "Um...Dr. Phil...I have a drinking problem. What do I do?" And then Dr. Phil is like, "Stop drinking." Then the audience starts clapping and saying, "Wow, he's good!". Fuck, I can do that. I think I'm going to change my name to Dr. Marcus and start charging the sheeple of America to hear my expert life-changing advice. I'll be rich in no time.

Another group of complete fucktards are the people who swear by these "financial experts" turned radio show hosts, like Suze Orman and Dave Ramsey. Once again, making people hang on every word by dishing out common sense. "Um...Dave Ramsey...I make $20,000 a year. Can I afford a $1.2 million house?" And then Dave is like, "No." Cue the audience breaking out into applause, "Wow, he's good!".

These people are making millions of dollars off of the fact that the majority of the American populus is completely fucking stupid...and trust me, business is booming. Look folks, you don't need these people directing your lives for you. You know the right thing to do...so do it. You already know the answers to most of life's issues that are dealt your way, so just do what you need to do and get on with it. Of course, there are a lot of you out there that really do need someone to tell you common sense things. If you are one of those people, please do the world a favor and kill yourself before you procreate and breed more stupidity.

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