Monday, July 25, 2011

The Hot Seat

I'm sure all guys can agree with me when I say that I'm getting sick and tired of hearing women bitch and complain about the us leaving the toilet seat up. 

Before I even get into the irrationality behind women's logic, let us first just look at the act itself. Exactly how hard is it to simply move a toilet seat from the up position to the down position? Does a toilet seat possess some kind of kryptonite-like properties that render a woman's arm strength to almost nothing? There is absolutely no manual labor involved here...none whatsoever. It literally takes less than one second to put the seat down.

Now, on to some of the half-assed excuses that that drive this feeble complaint of theirs. Some women will say that this is a courtesy issue. We know that you have to have the seat down to use the bathroom, so why not have it ready for you when it's time for you to go? Well the answer is because we would never get the same courtesy in return. There's not a woman out there that is going to put the lid back up after she's done. After all, look how hard it was to lower the goddamn thing to begin with.  Now besides courtesy, other women will argue that it is a sanitary/germ issue. Well here's a handy little tidbit of information for you. There are more germs and bacteria found on the keypad/screen of your cell phone than there is in a toilet.  And I'm not talking about your home toilet either...I mean a public toilet.  I'm not making this has been scientifically proven.  So if you're one of these germaphobe people and think a toilet seat is "icky", then I suggest you put away your cell phone and never use it again. But we all know that will never happen. A woman would give up her first born child before she gives up her cell phone.  Also think about this: look how many dirty, icky things guys have to get into so that you don't have to. Yard work, vehicle upkeep, house maintenance, pest control, electronics installation/troubleshooting/repair...the list goes on and on. I'll tell you what...make this deal with your husband: You volunteer to take care of all of that stuff I just listed, and in return he'll put the toilet seat down. I guarantee he will take you up on that offer.

Now that I've poked holes in your "logic", if that's what you want to call it, let me give you my take. Personally, I don't think this is a courtesy or sanitary issue.  I simply think this is just another thing for women to nag us about.  You see, women HAVE to nag.  It's a necessity, just as important as breathing.  So when things are going too well and there's a shortage of topics to bitch about, women will always have that toilet seat issue in their back pocket...and will pull it out in a dire nagging drought emergency.  And if your husband is so reckless with his piss aim that he couldn't hit the bowl if he put a rifle scope on his dick, then you have a husband problem, not a toilet seat problem.  At any rate, this is a feeble, simplistic topic that needs to be put to rest by all women.  There are much worse issues in the world that you should be concerned about.  Stop wasting your energy on this one.

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